Third-party relationship – or how you deny yourself the chance to connect with your Twin Flame
Although – with the rise of collective consciousness – we increasingly see Twin Flame connections recognized at a young age, the majority still consist of couples who met while already in committed relationships with others – whether with a soulmate or in a karmic partnership.
Perhaps you, too, met your Twin only to discover moments later that he was married; perhaps you were already in a long-term relationship yourself; maybe you were both married to other people; or – like me – you were planning a wedding.
If this sounds familiar and you are wondering about the meaning of it all – and whether there is a chance for a lasting union in the third dimension – please stay with me for a moment.
A “third-party relationship” is essentially how you sabotage your chance of union with your Twin Flame…
Although I initially focused only on relationships – since they are the most obvious obstacle to a Twin Flame union – I want to clarify right away that I consider *any* 3D circumstance to be such an obstacle if the Ego uses it as an excuse to prevent your ultimate reunion with your Twin. This also applies to anything – on an energetic level – that clutters up the space on your morphic “drive.”
I like to explain it to clients this way: if your drive is cluttered with photos of funny cats, you won’t have room for a proper, functional program.
Such blockers can include:
- a current partner,
- an ex-partner who still lingers in your life,
- a job that “forces” you to limit contact with your Twin Flame,
- a house you saved up for for so long – and because of which you “cannot” move,
- a family member to whom you “must” devote all your time (a karmic relationship!),
- any other self-imposed obligation to someone or something that either you or your Twin uses as an excuse.
No matter what obstacle seems insurmountable to you, I can say with full conviction that no such obstacle exists. I know, however, that the Ego can find the most logical and sensible arguments to justify its position and will fight tooth and nail to prevent union with your Twin Flame from happening. This is hardly surprising, given that such a union is only possible when the Ego is stepped aside.
The truth is, however, that behind every “logical” argument of the Ego lie traumas, beliefs, and patterns in need of change; working through these will ultimately enable you to pave the way for a 3D union with your Twin.
A Few Common Threads
There are truly so many variables that make it difficult to break free from such a “stalemate” situation. So many, in fact, that it is impossible to cover them all; out of the dozens of cases I have worked through with my clients, I have never encountered two that were exactly alike. Not a single one!
After all, from the perspective of the Ego, we are completely different.
However, there are a few common threads running through the various scenarios that seem to keep you stuck in a “third-party situation,” and these are precisely what I have chosen to focus on.
Twin Flame – Find Out More!
1. You are deceiving yourself
This is perhaps the most obvious and effective tactic employed by the Ego – not only on the Twin Flame journey but whenever you try to “do something with your life”: you convince yourself that things are fine just as they are.
Before I explain why this happens, ask yourself: how many times have you wanted to do something but ultimately gave up, often reframing what you previously saw as a flaw in the situation into an ultimate advantage? “Upon closer reflection,” you say…
This analysis might have looked like this:
You live in an apartment block. One day, you run into a neighbor in the stairwell; amidst the polite pleasantries, she starts telling you an anecdote about a resident of your building who went to the local shop in soiled trousers – a stain that made it look like she’d had a “toilet mishap.” You leave the neighbor without saying much, but you’re actually furious, because you realize she isn’t talking about some other neighbor – *you* were the unlucky one who sat in white trousers on chocolate your son had smeared on the sofa, and it wasn’t until you were outside that another neighbor pointed it out. Agitated, you go home and announce to your husband that you’ve had enough of city living – cramped, lacking a shred of personal space, and where everyone sees everything – and that you should buy a house somewhere remote.
Once the words are finally out, you realize you’ve always felt stifled in the city and craved freedom; you were just waiting for the last straw. You start looking up garden design ideas, visit an animal shelter website (since you’ve always dreamed of having a dog), browse real estate listings, and feel genuinely happy.
A few days later, you make an appointment at the bank to check your mortgage eligibility. It turns out that even if you manage to sell your apartment and use the proceeds for a down payment, the monthly mortgage installment would be double what you currently pay in rent.
So perhaps it would be better to look for… …another house, one potentially in need of renovation, and a bit further away from the city…
No matter what 3D obstacle is holding you back from finally uniting with your Twin, your brain will come up with a hundred absurd arguments as to why that barrier is insurmountable. This happens because the brain dislikes change and wants to avoid major life upheavals at all costs. It operates on the principle of: “It sucks, but at least it’s stable!”
Read: On the superiority of the past over the future. How memories shape our lives.
You likely already know that your Twin Flame won’t make any life decisions easier for you through their actions. They won’t say, “If you quit your job and move in with me, I can support you until you get back on your feet” – oh no!
You met your Twin so that you could become one with All That Is – and, in doing so, become independent and self-confident – so they won’t do anything for you.
What’s more, there is absolutely no guarantee that once you actually take that step, they will come to you…
The catch is that the guarantee of their return lies in you *not* needing to be with them. So, how do you break out of this seemingly vicious circle?
2. You’re waiting for the “right moment”
If you haven’t yet managed to break free from that tightening loop of “what if…,” it’s most likely because you’re waiting for the RIGHT MOMENT!
You know there’s nothing you want more than to be with your Twin Flame. It’s no wonder – after all, ever since you met him, everyone else seems dull. From the very first meeting, you both felt a connection. And although many declarations have been made, nothing has actually happened. Yet, you still hope that something eventually *must* happen – after all, you aren’t indifferent to him either. Unfortunately, two years have passed, and he still hasn’t made a move…
If you’ve been searching online for information about Twin Flames, you might already know that you embody the feminine energy in this relationship and that everything starts with you. So, before you can expect any action on his part, you need to do your own work: dismantle your Ego and feel a sense of oneness with All That Is.
“I’ll do it!” you decide. After all, there’s a carrot dangling at the end of the string.
But… You have a husband and a child… And so does he…
So you start to analyze the situation:
You and your husband live practically like siblings. Things haven’t been working out for three years, and it’s only a matter of time before one of you leaves. Ideally, he would be the one to do it… But he doesn’t have anyone else, isn’t looking, and is simply comfortable with the status quo. You, on the other hand, can’t afford to live on your own. Plus, the company you work for is cutting jobs. You haven’t been laid off yet, but no one’s position is secure. A friend of yours is launching a flower shop; she’d suggested starting the business together a while back. You were afraid of the risky investment and declined, but deep down, you’re hoping that if her business takes off, she might hire you as an employee. Maybe in two or three years…?
As if that weren’t enough, you have a daughter. She’s not a little girl anymore – she’s eighteen… But she’s had a rough patch at school recently, and with her final exams coming up next year, you’re worried about how a divorce would affect her.
And then there’s the mortgage you share with your husband… Theoretically, you could give up the house and leave it to him. But he wouldn’t be able to simultaneously pay off the remaining mortgage *and* the new loan he’d need to take out to buy out your share… You quickly check the bank’s website and see that there are 78 installments left.
Five years – neither a short nor a long time. In that span, your daughter would have time not only to pass her final exams but also to complete the first stage of her university studies. The loan will be paid off, and you might be well-established in your new company by then… Yes! 2030 will be a really good time to take action!
The truth is, however, that there will never be a perfect moment. There will always be an excuse not to act. Life goes on regardless. From the moment you identified your Twin Flame, your journey of ego dissolution began – *your* journey, not *yours together*. The process is in motion. From this point on, your Higher Self will increasingly reveal the karmic lesson you are meant to master in this lifetime, constantly placing people and situations in your path to help you learn it. The longer you pretend not to see the signs, the more obvious they will become. And “more obvious” means more painful for the ego. Eventually, you will reach a point where your helplessness in the face of your Higher Self’s power peaks, leaving you no choice but to simply surrender.
We are here because the Energy from which we are created – and which we *are* – seeks constant evolution. That is the only reason. Do you really believe your Higher Self will wait another five years for you to finally do what you have already put off for far too long?
And do not forget: during those five years, your Twin Flame will continue living their 3D life, without waiting for you to be ready…
3. You are in a relationship with a soulmate
No matter how difficult it might be to discuss problems regarding money, work, or housing, the true challenge arises when you have to end a relationship with a soulmate…
If you are fortunate enough to be in a relationship characterized by peace and blissful stability – punctuated only by occasional, minor imbalances – and your partner bravely supports you in all (well, almost all) your endeavors, then you are likely with a soulmate. Every major role played by the people in your life (including certain brief encounters that clearly point to a karmic lesson) can be categorized as one of the following: Twin Flame, soulmate, karmic partner, spiritual tribe member, or soulmate with a karmic connection.
A soulmate is someone who acts as a pillar of support while you work through a karmic lesson – often throughout your entire life.
As you might guess, the Ego loves having a safety net nearby and will not want to give it up easily. From the perspective of the Higher Self, however, the soulmate relationship – so deeply craved by the Ego – offers the least opportunity for growth among all the relationships available within the Soul Family. However, it is a connection significant enough to take up a vast amount of space on your morphic “drive”… So, as long as that space remains occupied, there is absolutely NO possibility for your Twin Flame to become a permanent part of your life. You may encounter him from time to time, or even reconnect with him – since the Higher Self will always strive for the complete union of the Twins, no matter how fiercely the Ego tries to block it – yes; but you cannot count on anything lasting. Hear me clearly once more: you cannot count on anything lasting. It does not matter that, all this time…
4. …you are waiting for him to make a move
Perhaps you run into each other around town, perhaps you work in the same place, or perhaps you bump into one another under circumstances that defy explanation – and you both know it’s no coincidence. That is why you keep believing he will eventually make a move… And you tell yourself: “If he does *this*, then I’ll do *that*.” After all, there are so many real-world complexities to navigate; you can’t simply bet everything on an uncertain horse in this race. Especially since you are dealing with a soulmate who never forces you to handle everything without help…
If you have truly met your Twin Flame, I have bad news for your Ego: this time, you will have to do everything yourself. The man of your dreams (who turns out not to be so dreamy after all when he throws challenge after challenge your way 😉) won’t lift a finger until you get your life in order. What’s more, he won’t lift a finger even if you *do* sort your life out and make actual room for him, provided you did it for *him* rather than for *yourself*.
If you embody the feminine energy in this relationship, know that all the work begins with you. It is up to you to bring about the dismantling of your own Ego. His task is to spur you into doing this work – to place every obstacle in your path, throw the toughest challenges at you, trigger every deeply buried trauma, and expose the thought patterns and beliefs that do not serve you. And he will do this for the very same reason that you, in the initial stage, want to… …make room for him in your life: out of love.
You are one. (Not just with him, but with Everything – though that is not the focus of this post). You are working on common ground. You chose this specific configuration for yourselves, and from the very beginning, *you* were the one who wanted to lead. With this awareness, do not let your Ego take offense any longer at the fact that you have to do certain things while he doesn’t. His time will come, too.
Only when you have done the work that ultimately transforms your life completely will he be able to address his own ego – and only then will there be room for him to return to you. Then, you will be able to decide whether you still want a union in the third dimension. You will be the one to decide. Just as you need to do the work now – for yourself. Because there is no one else but you.
Remember: whatever stands in the way of your 3D union also stands in the way of your own personal growth. His role was simply to show you this.
It does not matter whether you ultimately choose a 3D relationship with your Twin – even if you do not yet understand this and ask yourself: “Why turn my entire, settled life upside down if nothing is going to change in the end?” If that is the case, ask yourself another question: is your life truly as settled as you think?
If you are struggling to understand the meaning of your path and feel stuck, I am here for you.
